I hear the last canon. I'm the last one alive, that means I won. I get to go back home. But what's the price of this reward? I will never be the same girl again. I will never be able to wash the blood away. I'm stained for life. I'll never be able to forget. At least I get to go back to him. We can be together again. Kind of. Because we will never be fully together. A part of me is staying here, and the part that's returning home is damaged.
I hear the shuttle taking the last body and I can hear them announcing me as the victor. Victor of what? Victor of some stupid killing game, a game I never wanted to play, a game that brought the worst out of me, a game that just made me insane.
I hear the second shuttle coming. They are here for me. I'm going home. I'm safe.
For now.
Showing posts with label reaping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reaping. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Training
I still can't believe what's happening. I go to bed everyday wishing to wake up in my old bedroom in District 4, far away from The Capitol, even dough I know it won't happen. I feel that time is running slower than usual, but I suppose that's part of the nightmare and the anxiety of the sudden death that none of us can avoid.
Finnick won't give up, he continues to talk to me about different ways of survival. He keeps teaching me how to fight and hunt. I can't blame him, if I was in his place I would probably be doing the same thing. The only difference is, that he actually had a chance, while I don't. But he can't know that. I promised him I would do my best to stay alive. And I will keep that promise, I'm just afraid that's not gonna be enough.
I smile at him as I walk towards my room and he starts to walk right behind me. I can't help it and I start thinking about everything I'm about to lose. All the things I will never see, and all that's going to chance.
I stop and he stops right behind me. I shiver and the crying starts. I feel my knees bending and his arms giving me support. We fall and stay hugged in the floor.
- It's ok. It's ok.
He tries to calm me but that only makes it worst. A part of me explodes and I can't stop my self from screaming. I grab my head and pull my hair screaming.
- No! No! I'ts not ok! I don't want to go! Please don't make me!
I can't finish, I'm sobbing so loud that no words come out of my mouth. Finnick holds me even harder against his chest. He stays in silence and allows me to cry and scream.
After a while I feel a little better. He helps me to get up and walks me to the bedroom. I sit in the bed and he walks toward the door, he stops and looks at me.
- I need you to promise me you'll do everything to stay alive.
I look at him. His eyes are filled with pain. I want to stop that, I can't see him suffering. I stand up and walk towards him.
- I promise.
I kiss him gently, watch him walk away, and then shut the door.
Finnick won't give up, he continues to talk to me about different ways of survival. He keeps teaching me how to fight and hunt. I can't blame him, if I was in his place I would probably be doing the same thing. The only difference is, that he actually had a chance, while I don't. But he can't know that. I promised him I would do my best to stay alive. And I will keep that promise, I'm just afraid that's not gonna be enough.
I smile at him as I walk towards my room and he starts to walk right behind me. I can't help it and I start thinking about everything I'm about to lose. All the things I will never see, and all that's going to chance.
I stop and he stops right behind me. I shiver and the crying starts. I feel my knees bending and his arms giving me support. We fall and stay hugged in the floor.
- It's ok. It's ok.
He tries to calm me but that only makes it worst. A part of me explodes and I can't stop my self from screaming. I grab my head and pull my hair screaming.
- No! No! I'ts not ok! I don't want to go! Please don't make me!
I can't finish, I'm sobbing so loud that no words come out of my mouth. Finnick holds me even harder against his chest. He stays in silence and allows me to cry and scream.
After a while I feel a little better. He helps me to get up and walks me to the bedroom. I sit in the bed and he walks toward the door, he stops and looks at me.
- I need you to promise me you'll do everything to stay alive.
I look at him. His eyes are filled with pain. I want to stop that, I can't see him suffering. I stand up and walk towards him.
- I promise.
I kiss him gently, watch him walk away, and then shut the door.
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